you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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