Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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