So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
