It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
