So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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