I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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