it wasn't lemon gatorade
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
