I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Farmville is her only friend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
