He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
