it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
