You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
