just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
