well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
