oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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