In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
