That's when you crack a 10am beer
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
