Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
