I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
