420 ftw
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just pee around me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
