She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
