You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
