I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
