Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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