I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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