I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
