I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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