Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
