They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
