Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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