Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
