On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
