And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
