At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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