I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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