If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
