i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
