Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
