after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
