im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
