omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
