I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
