Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
