i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
