im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
