If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
