before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
