It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
