Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
