Sponge bath it is.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
