I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
