How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
