We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
